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Letters from my mother

06/03/2016 by Charlotte 5 Comments

The letter attached to a new pair of earrings, sent to my house after a hard week – ‘I thought you might like these. Keep your chin up, my girl.’

The text message sent mid-Coronation Street to say ‘Nice jumper, Gail – NOT!’, to which I respond with whole-hearted agreement.

The note slipped between the ice block she attached to my sandwich when I was at school – because heaven forbid it should drop below fridge temperature – to wish me GOOD LUCK on exam days.

The ‘Happy New Home’ card that was waiting for us behind the door of our otherwise empty first house, sent the minute I let her know the address. 

The abbreviations she makes up to save space in her text messages: TC = take care, AML = all my love. If she’s going to pay as she goes, she’s going to get her money’s worth.

The note sent with the jiffy bag full of M&S knickers she found for me in the sale that says ‘Bargains or what!’ and ‘The size 12 pair might be too big but for 19p, who cares?’ – all of which made my day.

The ‘Bon Voyage’ card she sent before we went to Australia, and the messages I received at just the right time every day we were there to say good morning, good night, and please, please be careful. 

The entire emails she writes in the space reserved for the subject heading – because if you’ve got something to say, why not just get on with it?

The joke ‘list’ of names she’s claimed to have kept all my life of all the people who have ever dared upset me.

The texts I get whenever I mention I’ve bought myself something new to wear – ‘Did you not get your mother one?!’ she says, regardless of what it is.

The iPad messages to tell me when things I might be interested in are on TV: ‘Wimbledon on Location Location Location!’ ‘Great Barrier Reef on BBC1!’ ‘Remember Coronation Street’s on at 7 tonight because of stupid football!’

The words engraved on the silver bracelet she gave me on my wedding day: ‘Love always, mum’, which I will love always, mum.

The letters from my mother that mean more than she will ever know.

Posted in: Uncategorized Tagged: cards, family, mother's day, mum, post, texting

16 things I’ve learnt from my mum

15/03/2015 by Charlotte 4 Comments
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1. There is no situation that could not be improved by the involvement of a hot water bottle. A long car journey, a late evening trip to the movies, a stomach ache that just won’t quit – my mum’s got an HWB for every occasion.

2. A handbag should enable you to address any need that you, your friends, family or casual passers-by could identify. Got a headache? Worry not, she’s got her pouch of tablets. Need to freshen up? Well, would you like a Tic Tac or a Polo? Fancy a snack? Well, sure, but not before you’ve had a wash. You can choose between either hand sanitiser or wipes, which are stored in the specially purchased cleaning products purse. Turn your nose up if you like but if you want to eat you’re going to have to WASH THOSE HANDS.

3. When I’m not wearing mascara, I look unwell. If I had a pound for every time mum’s asked me “Are you ill or have you just not put your make up on yet?” then maybe I’d be able to afford to have my eyelashes permanently tinted and save us all a lot of trouble.

4. She may not always be able to hear what I’m saying to her when we’re sat next to each other, but she can hear me opening the fridge door from ANYWHERE.

5. Related: when we went to Japan last year, I bought my mum a small battery operated walrus that goes in the fridge and shouts something in Japanese every time the door is opened (presumably “Remember to close the fridge door!” or “That cheese has got to last all week, you know!”) It’s true, there really is such a thing as a perfect gift.

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6. Greetings card occasions can creep up on you. But that isn’t a problem in our house, oh no. My mum has a special file that she keeps permanently topped up with all available types of cards to ensure that all possible greetings needs are met. Whether your friends have just had triplets or your neighbour is celebrating the completion of a new conservatory, my mum has got the card for you. She’s even offered to source cards for herself on a number of occasions but we have to draw the line somewhere.

7. Hands down, nobody’s washing smells better. Nobody’s.

8. Related: it might say ‘hand wash only’ on the label, but the exception to that rule is ‘mum wash’. I don’t know how she does it; I just know that I have so much confidence in her washing abilities that I’m pretty sure that even I would survive a spin in her machine.

9. Yogurts with the best sell-by date are always at the back of the shelf in the supermarket. Some things are worth getting a cold arm for.

10. That if my mum, my auntie and I are in the same room, the odds of being called by the correct name are extremely low.

11. That, no, I don’t need to leave the water running whilst I clean my teeth and, yes, I do care a lot more about wasting money now that I am responsible for the bills.

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12. On a cold day, if one must leave the house, one should do so in jeans with tights underneath. No bug in no rug has ever felt so snug.

13. Come hell or high water, this woman will get her five-a-day. My mum can eat kiwis in a moving vehicle, apples in bed and bananas whilst cleaning the bathroom. Nothing gets between my mum and her fruit.

14. Little treats are the best. If my mum knows you like something, whether it’s a particular type of sweets or a brand of chocolate or, in my husband’s case, as much fudge as you can possible get your hands on, she will make sure she sends you off with some every time you see her. My treats bag also often includes a box of dishwasher tablets, which makes me happier than it probably should.

15. Receiving a hand written note from someone you love is one of the best things in the world. When I was at school on my birthday, my mum would slip a little note in my lunchbox to say ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY!’ even though she’d obviously already said it to me that morning. I’d look forward to it every year. Similarly, if she ever left us alone in the house during the school holidays, she’d leave a note in the kitchen saying ‘Lunch in fridge please don’t make mess love mum x’ which I also enjoyed.

16. That the greatest thing you can do for another person is to never let them doubt for a single second that they are loved. I can only hope to nail this skill as well as she has.

Posted in: Uncategorized Tagged: children, growing up, lessons, mother's day, mum, mums

Dear Mum, as promised, here’s my Christmas list…

07/12/2014 by Charlotte Leave a Comment

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1. A top to wear with jeans. Not cropped. (Not as young as I used to be).

2. Good quality tights. Should probably try a size medium, small ones keep falling down.

3. Socks. Black please. Can’t bear to spend my own money on something so boring.

4. Jumper. Not itchy. Put it up to your face to test it; if you get a rash, don’t buy it.

5. Knickers. Full cheek coverage please. Too cold and old for thongs.

6. Gloves to go with that scarf you gave me Christmas 2012 – can send photo if you don’t remember.

7. Woolly hat that will not give me hat hair – so not too tight or cone-like.

8. Fancy top I can wear out to dinner but that will also look nice with a cardigan if nippy.

9. Purse. Must be strong and have room for lots of receipts and loyalty cards. No smaller than a brick.

10. Winter dress for work – not so hot that I’ll pass out on the tube but warm enough to stop me getting piles. (Good luck with that).

11. Book by that woman we saw on This Morning that we both thought had nice hair. Will text if remember name or title.

12. Pyjamas. No animals please. Am newly married; too soon for full penguin coverage (sadly).

13. Hand cream. Large. Nothing that smells like ice cream (always end up tasting it and is always gross).

14. Good pen. Am serious writer, need serious tools.

15. Banana guard. Keep ruining handbags. (Will unwrap in private to avoid childish giggling).

Things I do not need:
– Umbrellas. Am overrun.
– Towels. Is like B&B round here.
– DVDs. Netflix innit.
– Jewellery. My necklace stand keeps falling over in the night and frightening us.
– Scarves. Got about 30 but still just the one neck.

Thanks v much. See you for Christmas! x

P.S Please don’t forget to get lots of Pringles. All flavours. (Don’t worry, I’ll take any leftovers home).

Posted in: Uncategorized Tagged: christmas, christmas lists, gifts, mum, presents, thongs

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