1. Don’t use the fact that I wrote every single one of our wedding gift thank you cards against him.
2. When he says he’ll fill the dishwasher, let him. Don’t just do it myself because I don’t believe he’ll load it correctly.
3. Refrain from mentioning that all I can think about is getting home and putting on my pyjamas whilst out on date nights.
4. No longer bring up his domestic failings late at night when he is trying to go to sleep.
5. Stop mentioning that he lost my phone charger. And that sharing one between us is annoying. And that the fact that I could easily just stop being a baby and go out and buy a new one is NOT. THE. POINT.
6. Stay awake until at least 10.30pm on a Saturday evening.
7. No longer use sighing as a method of communication.
8. Don’t be offended because he’d rather play FIFA 14 than look through the wedding photographs.
9. Don’t threaten annulment just because he refuses to listen to Magic FM during dinner.
10. Spend evenings having conversations instead of just watching Mock The Week and Have I Got News For You reruns and falling asleep.
11. Avoid using sarcasm to express annoyance that the laundry basket is overflowing e.g. “You know what I love? Having a pile of laundry that is exactly the same height as me. It’s like living with ART.”
12. At least pretend to be open to the idea of leaving the house on a Sunday.
13. Don’t use my new status as his wife as an excuse to bin all his boxer shorts that I don’t like.
14. Or let a blog post be the way that he finds out that I’ve done it.
15. Be a nicer person.
